Hello!

Ahhh, back again. I missed this blog. I always think about starting new again, but I like reading through past iterations of myself. I don’t feel the embarrassment I once I did. More than anything, I feel regret for not writing down everything.

I started a new job in April. I received a promotion and still work in analytics but on the research side rather than the administrative. Looking back, I was a horrible executive assistant. I realize now it didn’t mesh with my introverted tendencies. At the end, I was doing 3-5 public meetings a month, and they wore me down so much I needed the next day off to recuperate. A few of them are full day meetings with a lot of public interaction and participation. Leslie put in an incredible recommendation for me to her manager.

My six month review is on September 25th. I think I’m doing well. There’s so much to learn. In some ways, this job is a lot easier than my previous one. Firstly, while all mistakes should be minimized, my manager doesn’t freak out. Honestly, she is one of the best managers I’ve ever had. She used to be a middle school teacher, and on my first day she handed me a syllabus. She didn’t call it that, but it detailed everything she wanted me to learn for my first year. And her eyes light up when I have questions about work. She can definitely go on tangents, but she’s filled with so much knowledge that I think it just naturally pours out of her.

So, in short, I love my job. I have my struggles with it, but I don’t feel the dread I once did. It’s the perfect job for me since there are days I don’t even get an e-mail. But working in data and constantly learning? I can do that.

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We put down Ziegler in April. I have never been so crushed by a death in my life. I knew she wasn’t well in the end, but I just… I didn’t want to believe it. When Wes took her to the vet, we assumed it would be to refill a prescription. I love her so much. I have her ashes in my office on the window sill she liked to perch on. I wish we had more time with her. She was such a good cat. I just miss her Marge Simpson meow and pawing my face when she wanted attention. I would give anything to hold her again.

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I love our home and the life I’ve built with Wes. Sometimes I’m weighed down by all the things I have to do and feel this sense of urgency. I have to do it all now in order to be fulfilled. But slowly, I have learned patience. I feel more at peace with myself. I struggled a lot in my twenties, to the point that I thought I wouldn’t make it. But I think that was the depression talking. It amazes me how your sense of self is so lost when in the midst of it. For the past few years, Wes has wanted me to read the Stormlight Archives series, and I finally did a few months ago. There’s currently three books in the series, and I devoured them.

The way depression and growth is depicted is so realistic. I immediately connected with Kaladin and his struggles but what really overtook me was Dalinar in book three (Oathbringer). One thing I love about this series is watching each of the main character’s flashbacks. We get to see glimpses from their pasts, and Dalinar’s is probably the most stark. And I finally realized something: in order to grow, I have to own my past. I can’t stifle it down. I can’t pretend it didn’t happen. I can’t rationalize the bad I did (or what happened to me). I must accept and embrace it all, including the pain. And wow, is it difficult. I see now why Wes was so adamant about me reading the series. I find myself gravitating toward it when I feel really down or emotionally vulnerable.

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I have to start meal prepping. On the list for cooking:

• scallion pancakes (promised Leslie and Leela some)
• bacon, leek and mushroom risotto (I have some pork ragu in the freezer waiting for it)
• chicken and sausage alfredo with veggies
• shredded chicken (for chimichangas)
• smoked gouda and bacon mac & cheese
• chili
• breakfast burritos (for Tim and Leslie)
• buttermilk fried chicken (making my favorite Left Coast sandwich: fried chicken, sriracha mayo, spicy cole slaw and a brioche bun)

 

 

Yesterday, Wes got some groceries. I made him some nachos, and I had a taco salad. For dinner, I made burgers with jalapeno, mushrooms and a lot of cheese. It was delicious.

We woke up super late played a lot of Monster Hunter.

I got Mother of my Children by Black Belt Eagle Scout. Shit’s cash.

Last night I made chicken parmesan for Wes. It turned out really well, and we have plenty for tonight too. I also made jalapeno garlic focaccia. We’re both having a hard time not eating all of it.

We did quite a bit of yard work today.  Wes started mowing the lawn, and I pulled weeds and pruned the bushes. Our next door neighbor, Barbara, introduced herself and asked us about one of the trees between our houses. She wants to get rid of it since it’s growing so large and mentioned her son would be willing to take it down for free. She also helped us with our property line. We own a lot more than we originally thought! We definitely need to get a survey done at some point since we’re going to build a fence. Though that’s a few years away while we build up our savings again. Becky planted so many beautiful plants for us to enjoy. I love how she put the pink  poppies next to the daisies. I can’t wait to add more. Saving up now for a greenhouse and more flowers.

We had our first official harvest today! One large bowl of raspberries and a few strawberries. I doubt I will be able to make anything with them, because they are almost immediately devoured after picking. They are so sweet and delicious.

I love our home so much. I am happier here each day. We’ve created a space that reflects who we are, and it makes me realize that I am in a very good place in my life. There will always be difficulty and conflict but as long as there is peace within myself, I know I am okay.

 

Wes and I walked to Trader Joe’s to get groceries (read: ice cream). We ate at a burger joint, had too many fries and waddled back home. I found orchids to take home. They are both horribly root bound. I also bought aloe vera.

When we got home, we spent some time in the backyard cleaning up and then took Mar on a long walk. I had a really good day.

In your waters, I’ve dropped anchor

Buying a house has helped with stress immensely. Despite working overtime the last month and taking the train two and from Portland 1-2 times a week, knowing that I get to come home to this makes anything unpleasant have no effect on my mood.

I didn’t realize with renting I always had a feeling of uncertainty. Will I be here a year from now? Will the cost of rent increase when we renew? Why are they inspecting again? As much as I liked living in Portland, I couldn’t fall in love with it, and that was mostly due to renting. After we had to move out of our place off Burnside, I was thrown off equilibrium, and I found it really hard to find it again. And now there are different stresses, but they are mostly controllable.

I am having an incredible weekend with Wes. On Friday, I worked from home and then went on a date with Wes. We went to Ranch Records, and I purchased OK Computer by Radiohead and Somnium by Sianspheric. I purchased Sianspheric on a whim. I looked at the album art and immediately knew I had listened to the record but couldn’t figure out when. It was only $9, and I’m so glad I did. I don’t remember when I listened to the record, but I’m remembering bits and pieces.

We explored Reed Opera House. Almost got my hair cut, but the only lady working was busy with appointments. We tried Bo & Vine and found a few antique stores. I bought a ring at a consignment store, and it will always remind me of how perfect Friday was. We then went to Salem Center and hit our usual spots.

Yesterday was definitely a much needed lazy day. We played a lot of Civilization VI. Before dinner, we took a long walk. I love walking in our neighborhood. We noticed the tree in our front yard is beginning to bloom.

Today, I’m meal prepping. Wes wants chicken parmesan for dinner. For the week, I’m making salads with peanut dressing, ground pork/mushroom for stir fry and soup. It sounds weird, but it’s delicious. I made a broth with shiitake mushrooms and ginger, and it goes really well with noodles and chili garlic sauce. Add a soft boiled egg and scallions, and it’s an incredibly addicting dinner.

I purchased a bunch of seeds, a garden bed and compost for the backyard garden. The seller left vermiculite and peat moss. I want to make my own compost bin and buy worms, but I’m starting small this year. I can’t wait to convert the front yard to a flower garden.

I don’t think I could ever tire of this song.

The office. I love the little space I’ve made for myself.

Wes and I moved on Thursday, and today we’re about 70% done with unpacking. We were a bit lazy on Saturday and mainly worked on decorative stuff. We put the clothes away today, but my my office is still a damn mess. We already feel at home. Our place is super empty, and I didn’t realize how damn big this house is compared to where we’ve lived.

Yesterday, Wes and I walked to Trader Joe’s and WinCo to get a few items, and I LOVE our neighborhood. So many trees, and we’re less than a half mile away from a gorgeous park. Both stores are a mile away from home and walkable. I bought a rosemary plant and some flowers for the kitchen. We received a free turkey from WinCo for spending more than $100. It’s huge, and I have no idea what to do with it. It’ll be another fun adventure for me. I haven’t cooked a turkey since I lived with my parents. It shouldn’t

A few things about the house we didn’t know about that aren’t really huge things, but we are obsessed about:

1. The light in our bedroom has a remote control, and it is amazing to use after a long day.
2. There’s a heater in the bathroom. Is that a normal thing? Because it should be.
3. She left us two really cool shelves in the garage. One is in the bedroom with my plants.
4. She provided me with a lot of gardening supplies and a few really nice outdoor pots. The backyard has about 7-8 and there’s a glass one in the front yard I’m going to grow some herbs in.
5. The lighting in the kitchen is so beautiful. Sadly, I can’t really put plants in there since the cats love to sit there. I don’t blame them.

The park near our house is eerie yet idyllic. It’s hard explaining but damn, I can’t believe I live in this beautiful place. I am so thankful.

Tomorrow, I go to work for a couple hours to help with a meeting. On Tuesday, we’re exploring the city by bus and checking out Target. I also want to try a taphouse. They sell growlers, and I’d love to bring home some blackberry cider.

On the 16th, we’re going to Beaverton to meet Brandon Sanderson. I love the Mistborn series, and Wes has read everything he’s written. I’m having so much fun on this vacation so far, and we still have two more weeks.

 

Three. Days.

We move in three days.

We signed on Friday, and now we’re anxiously waiting for our keys. My realtor plans on meeting me at the house on Thursday, the day of our move. I’m thinking of getting her flowers. Jo will be driving me to Salem with the pets around 8:00 a.m. I’m also thinking of getting her flowers. Basically, a lot of people are getting plants this week! I am so thankful for the incredible people who have helped us along the way.

Wes and I went to IKEA on Saturday, and it was productive (as well as expensive). I got a wire shelf for the kitchen (plenty of storage, but I like to have shelving for my pots and pans), a coffee table and a lot of kitchen stuff. I’m so excited to cook in my kitchen! I bought a huge wood cutting board for kneading dough. I also got some extra glass containers for bulk foods. We bought a bunch of chocolate and candles. Worth.

While looking at dining tables and couches, we realized we want to save up money for sturdier pieces. It’s going to suck without a couch for a few months while we save up, but it’ll be worth it.

Though I plan on taking a couple weeks of vacation, I will still be working a little bit each day. I’m liking the temp we hired, and she’s been helping me with scheduling, which is a huge help since I’ve been hit with crazy holiday scheduling. In total, I’m taking about twenty days off, including weekends and holidays, and I don’t think I’ve taken that much time off in years.

While we’re off, I’m going to take engagement photos for Jo and her fiance. Wes will be assisting me since I plan on bringing a few cameras, and we plan on going to the beach. It is not fun carrying five cameras at the beach. I also want to make the photo shoot really special for Jo so having the extra help will make the process smoother. It’ll also be a fun double date!

Wes’ birthday is a month away and though we decided to hold off on gifts, I think I still want to make him something. I’m thinking of making photo books from each year we’ve lived together. I made one for 2014 , and I have everything organized on Flickr, so it would be a fun weekend project. I’d love to purchase larger prints of some of our favorite photos together too. Maybe I could make a gallery wall in the dining room of key moments in our relationship. It would be perfect since it would also be decorating our home, and we’ve both been a little obsessed with how we’re going to make each room look.

I’m so happy.

 

So. Much. Paperwork.

Our loan officer contacted us this week with a long list of items she needed to complete our loan application. I only have one more document to scan and send back, but they ask for so many things! And I’m sure the underwriter will ask for more. There are a few things that could go wrong. The inspection could show some issues with the home. The house could appraise for less than our loan amount. Or our loan could be denied.

Thankfully, the inspection is on Wednesday, and we just purchased the appraisal, so I hope that’s scheduled soon as well. We’re only four days into this process, and we’ve already done so much! Wes will be at the inspection on Wednesday and will take a few more photos for us. We’re having a lot of fun thinking about how we want to place our furniture. Since our couch is officially broken, we aren’t bringing it with us. But it’ll be nice figuring out how best to use the space.

I definitely feel overwhelmed. There are days I wonder if we’re really ready to own a house, but I know I want to stay in Oregon, and I enjoy my job. I’m also sick of renting! Our property management company has been doing inspections almost once a month. We received another notice this week, and it’s getting really tiring. I don’t mind occasional inspections, but this is the fifth or sixth one this year. I’m tired of not knowing where I’ll be in a year or two and worrying about rent increasing. The lack of permanence makes it hard for any place to feel like a home.

But I’m ready for a little ranch house that sits in front of a small creek. And a greenhouse, and the cats chasing each other through the dining room. I already see Mar resting on the deck on a summer day. We viewed so many houses, but this place just felt like home. It felt like that scene in Ratatouille at the end where the food reviewer tastes the food and is immediately transported to a loving moment in his childhood. Except when I stepped inside, I was transported into the future, and I felt how much we’d live our days in this lovely home.

Hopefully, no more paperwork will be requested today 🙂