This is in response to your incessant bitching for the past few days. While I understand your feelings of trepidation toward reaching your goals, from what I’ve seen, you’ve never gotten anywhere by just stopping altogether. You’ve done a great job so far, but you can’t just stop when things get difficult. You get the most results when you’re fighting against that urge.
Yes, I’ve been testing you. I’m proud that you stayed away from the lasagna yesterday while we were at Trader Joe’s. I’m quite pleased that you purchased even more tofu and vegetables for your lunch. But the bean and rice burritos? Really? I’m sorry you had to go to the bathroom at 5:00 AM this morning, but you’ve learned that purchasing burritos from the frozen aisle mean tough shits in the morning.
Although I was violently against you going to Bikram yoga for the first five days, I’m finding that I now crave it despite your unwillingness to go. Going has made you drink more water and watch your food intake. Ultimately, this makes my job easier to do. Also, I can’t help but notice that you no longer have any back pain. Leg pain while walking has completely gone. However, I do notice that you’ve been experiencing joint pain at your elbows and knees. Take it easy. That standing bow pose isn’t going to leave, you know.
Look, I get it. Adopting a different lifestyle is difficult. It’s really difficult. But what happens when you go back to what you once were? If you truly feel that your body is worth just a double cheeseburger (or three. I remember), I invite you to take that leap, but I will fight you the first few times. After that, you’re on your own. I will be waiting for you the next time around, but we can only do this so many times.
If you continue this despite feeling completely lethargic and burnt out, I promise you I will give you a healthy life. Even if you decide you don’t want to exercise for a few days, all you have to do is provide me with enough nutrition to help restore your body and keep it healthy. The best part? You’ve fought most of the battle. I bet it was hell just getting to this point. I’m not saying it’s supposed to be easy now, but now that you have the tools, why don’t you keep on using them? What’s the purpose of acquiring information if you don’t use it? Hm?
I’m going to give you the one piece of advice you’ve heard over and over again: one day at a time. And if you can’t do that, keep it at one moment at a time. Remember when you read “Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock” the first time? You read the line over and over again in your head.
In a minute there is time for decisions and revisions for a minute to reverse
What are you going to do now? Remain forever unchanged, stagnant, and determined to avoid life, or will you create yourself all over again and change it all?